Children need to feel unconditional acceptance no matter what they do, to know they’ll always belong to your household, and to learn to be competent.
–Have a new Kid by Friday (pg 75) Dr. Kevin Leman
Day in and day out I see parents making the mistake of looking past this VERY important point. They focus on the rules that aren’t being followed or a certain kind of behaviour that is problematic and harp on their kid about that, all the while not giving any thought to how they have communicated to their child that they are accepted (unconditionally), that they belong 100% and that they are competent.
I don’t want to come across as a person that isn’t about children following rules, because I am 100% in support of children following the rules and expectations of their parents, but a BIG part of helping children (especially the older ones) buy into parents values involves parents reinforcing their acceptance, and commitment to their children!!
My challenge to each parent reading this blog today is: what have you done today that blatantly communicates to your child that they are unconditionally loved, accepted, and are competent? In my opinion this is one of the most valuable lessons a parent could ever teach to their child.
C